Saturday, March 13, 2010

Saturdays are Special: Part One


This isn’t a re-run folks, I promise.

Today when I came in to open the library there were a number of people lurking in the lobby—as is all too often the case—and they kept yanking on the door and knocking despite the big ole sign that says we don’t open until one’o’clock.

Anyway, so I finally meander upstairs to open the doors a little before one and it’s like 12:50 or so and I’ve got nothing else left to do before we open, so I go ahead and kick open the front door to let the small battalion of library-lovin’ peeps come on in.

They respond in the way that is seemingly only natural, by stampeding over me and passed me. Apparently, since they’ve been waiting for so long—for no good reason—to get into the library, waiting another six seconds for me to get out of the way would just be too damn long.

Anyway, I know you’ve heard these stories a million times, but I promise you this isn’t a re-run and here’s why…

Despite the fact that I’d opened the library ten minutes early, there’s some crotchety old dude who doesn’t think that’s good enough.

Cap’n Cranky-Pants: “Why’d you make us wait so long?”
Cap’n Charisma: “Huh?”
Cap’n Cranky-Pants: “In the lobby. You left us out there for like an hour.”
Cap’n Charisma: “Riiiiiight, but we don’t open until 1pm. In fact, we’re even open a little early right now. It was your choice to camp out in the lobby.”
Cap’n Cranky-Pants: “No, it was your decision to leave us out there…”

As often the case, at this point in the conversation, I took a minute to let it all soak in—and contemplate whether or not his body would into the trash can in the men’s room—and then proceeded.

Cap’n Charisma: “Sir, the place doesn’t open until it’s slated to open. If you chose to wait around for us to open, that’s your prerogative. You wouldn’t react like this outside of a grocery store or a restaurant would you?”

He then took a few second for quiet contemplation of his own.

I hoped this meant he was realizing the error in his logic and that I’d actually reduced his self-inflicted wait time by opening the doors a few minutes early. Perhaps he might even apologize to me.

Instead I got this…

Cap’n Cranky-Pants: “Yes. I would complain. I don’t like when things aren’t open when I want them to be open. It’s just bad customer service. Everything should be 24/7.”

Rather than tell him that he was a freakin’ nut-job with an obvious attachment to overwhelming narcissism, I simply sighed and walked back to the desk.

He walked over to the computer and promptly logged onto Facebook and—to keep up appearances every time I look his way—the MIT Libraries’ homepage.

Every ten minutes or so for the first hour or so he’d not quite so kindly tell me how slow the computers were or that he thought someone sneezing inside the dome was making it hard to concentrate.

He left about an hour ago saying he was going to go to McDonald’s where they—and I quote—“Know How Customer Service Is Done!!”

Some days I really hate people.


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