Thursday, February 11, 2010

A Moment with Grace

Grace is a liar.

Grace is a dirty, filthy liar.

I came home from work tonight and my once honest and trustworthy significant other approached me and said:

Grace the Liar: “I made tacos if you want some. There’s meat on the stove and veggies on the counter.”

I rebuffed her offer, having eaten a late lunch.

She started putting things away and asked me to try the taco meat.

Grace the Liar: “Try the taco meat. It’s really good.”
The Duped Boyfriend: “Well I’m not real hungry.”
Grace the Liar: “Come on, the meat is real good.”

Being a good—and trusting—boyfriend, I obliged and made myself a taco. I scooped in a dollop of the meat she was so keen on, tossed on some cheese, onions, corn and hot sauce and devoured that taco.

I then proceeded to compliment Grace’s cooking skills.

This was followed by her breaking into a fit as maniacal laughter.

The Duped Boyfriend: “Whatcha laughing at?”
Grace the Liar: *More Maniacal Laughter*
The Duped Boyfriend: “What the hell, dude?!”
Grace the Liar: “You liked the taco, huh?!”
The Duped Boyfriend: “Yeah…why?!”
Grace the Liar: “…because that wasn’t meat!!”

This was followed by more maniacal laughter and her revealing that she’d fed me some weird vegetarian soy meat thingity thing under the guise of real meat.

You wanna know how it really tasted, my Faithful Readers?

It tasted like…deception.