Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Sick of the Deception

Hummus is not chip dip.

Hummus looks like chip dip, it smells sorta like chip dip and is even packaged the same as chip dip. It does not, however, taste anything like chip dip.

I want to make this very clear to you hummus. I’m sick and tired of you trying to trick me into thinking that you’re chip dip. You’ve pulled off this little bait and switch more times than I’m proud to admit.

You see, Faithful Readers, hummus is essentially a non-entity in the good ole Midwest. Out in Boston, however, it is all the rage and a must for every occassion.

When I first moved out here, I was still mistaking hummus for haggis. So when I saw what I assumed was some sort of bean dip, I just dug in. I was immediately disappointed. It tasted the way I assume stucco would taste or maybe that stuff that ladies put on their face at spas.

Not only does it taste bad, but it doesn’t even come with good stuff for dipping. Apparently hummus is supposed to be eaten with crackers or old, stale bits of pita.

Come on, Hummus!!

Knock it off already.

You see Hummus, here’s the thing...you’re not chip dip. You’re never going to be chip dip. Stop going around pretending to be chip dip and tricking innocent Midwestern folks.

It’s not funny anymore, the first two times, maybe…but not anymore!!

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