Friday, February 13, 2009

The McDonalds Embargo Begins

I’m like 90% sure that if I don’t start eating a little better I’m going to die much sooner than anticipated.

Granted, when you’re anticipating death by your thirtieth birthday what can you really expect, right?!

There are lots of days where--for no good reason other than laziness--I’ll forgo breakfast…and lunch…and sometimes supper.

When I don’t go foodless it seems--especially lately--that my only other option is devouring McDonalds in lieu of “real food.”

For example, here’s the way things have gone down this week…

Tuesday I ate McDonalds for lunch. A quarter-pounder with cheese, a double cheeseburger, fries and a Coke.

Wednesday I ate McDonalds for supper. A quarter-pounder with cheese, a double cheeseburger, fries and a Coke.

Thursday I ate McDonalds for supper--after Grace coerced me into doing so--and I ate a double cheeseburger, fries and an M&M McFlurry.

Friday I ate McDonalds for a drunken supper. A Big Mac, a double cheeseburger, fries, a Coke and an M&M McFlurry.

[Note: Friday’s supper came after a “lunch” of 23 fun-size Snickers bars.]

So I’m making it official, as of today Friday February 13, 2009, I am establishing a McDonalds embargo. This is in the same boat as the Burger King embargo that I established last April and have yet to fall back on.

I cannot guarantee that I’ll be as strong in my resistance to the golden-arched menace…but I’m sure as hell gonna try.

On a related note, if you’ve yet to receive an official ticket to my rapidly approaching wake and subsequent funeral, please let me know and I’ll get you hooked up.