Monday, February 09, 2009

I Suck at Mornings

I spent the first four minutes after opening my eyes this morning trying to weigh the pros and cons of compression shorts versus boxer briefs.

Why you ask, Faithful Reader?!

Beats me…but this is how my brain works, especially in the first few waking moments of my day.

Following my mental underwear dilemma, I rolled over, hiked up the blankets and dozed off again until my alarm went off for a second time. I reached over and turned it off and spent a few minutes staring at my shoes.

Not thinking about anything, mind you.

Just staring.

Then I decided I wasn’t going to the gym today. Why?! Because I was sleepy and, as such, assumed that I‘d remain sleepy all-day.

A couple of minutes later I realized that was just really stupid logic and I should totally going to the gym.

Unfortunately, a few short minutes later when I started to get out of bed I decided that not only did I not want to go to the gym, I also didn’t want to get out of my warm, comfy bed…but I didn’t want to get out of it, ever. No, no…I would live in the bed for the remainder of my days and turn it into some sort of mini-ecosystem.

Somewhere in the planning stage of my sustainable ecosystem, I fell back asleep.

Well, some time has passed and I’ve since peeled myself out of the blanket-laden cocoon and decided that it would be wise to go to the gym today. You know, because since I’m not in my bed anymore I’m not sleepy or of the mindset that I can live in my bed. I mean really…how did I forget about going poo and/or what would I do for food if/when Grace eventually leaves me for being a bed-dwelling troll?!

I’ve also decided I shouldn’t be allowed to make any sort of decision within the first half-hour or so of regaining consciousness…because I’m clearly borderline brain dead.