Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Public Service Announcement: Boys are Gross!

To the dude-nerds of MIT, specifically those of you who frequent the fourth-floor men’s room in the Barker Engineering Library, I implore you to flush.

Let’s be honest, Boys, it takes you like—what—two seconds to flush?! Yet for some reason unbeknownst to me, not a gol-darned one of you seems to find time to pull that little silver lever before you meander back to your algorithms, beakers and advanced thermodynamics.

Now do me a favor my nerdy friends, see how long it takes you to answer the following quandary: When it comes to horrendous stank…what’s the shelf-life of a dude’s pee once it’s been discharged from that inner-canteen that we loving call a bladder?!

I’m sorry my Dungeons and Dragons-loving friends, I cannot hear you?!

Lemme tell you, my nerdy friends…the answer is zero!!

Nil.
Zip.
Nada.
Zilch.
Nothing.

There is no shelf-life for pee. The second it’s out of you, it’s in the air. The same goes for the opposite side of the bottom-half, my friends. So flush the freakin’ toilets!!

I don’t care what you’re donating to the library lavatories, flush it. Your philanthropic efforts and the vile stench that accompanies them are not wanted here.

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