Saturday, January 17, 2009

Black(out) Friday

So last night Ryan and I had a few beers.

Somehow, those few beers eventually turned into a full-on two-man drunken wrecking crew wandering the streets of Cambridge. Unfortunately, neither one of us can remember much of it. Which is a shame, because I know we had a great time and the bits and pieces we do remember make it seem quite exciting.

Things that I know happened…

-We drank at my place while I cleaned in preparation for Grace’s arrival.
-We attempted to take a picture of my scrubbing the toilet. Unfortunately neither of the digital cameras in my apartment were working.
-We watched “Quantum Leap” for awhile.
-Darcy came over and we taught her how to play Guitar Hero (which is amusing consider the novice status we both still hold). We ate some wasabi peas.
-We took some shots of espresso-flavored vodka.
-We got on the T toward Porter Square.
-I nearly got into fight with teenagers…Ryan ensured that I did not.
-We walked forever and a day until we found Robin’s apartment which was serving as our landing spot for a party stock-piled with homemade beer!! (Ironically enough it was right by the infamous Conway Park that I’d first introduced to Jackie and Grace during our post-lease-signing death march back in late June!!)
-We entered the party. I peed and tried to compose myself as to not appear drunk off my ass in front of strangers at 7:30.
-Ryan and I drank a lot of beer and were completely anti-social.

…it’s about here that things get hazy. Unfortunately, that puts as at like eight in the PM or something. That leaves a whole lotta drunken time available for misguided antics in the streets/pubs/backyards of Cambridge.

Things that we think may have happened…

-We bailed on the party without saying goodbye because we were either going to puke on someone or get really loud and really obnoxious.
-We made the trek back to the Porter Square T…all loud and obnoxious, of course.
-I fell at some point. This is based on Ryan having a hazy memory of me taking a tumble combined with a dirty left side of my coat and a big bruise on my left hip discovered this morning.
-We stopped in a bar. I peed. Ryan bummed a cigarette. We were growing more loud and obnoxious.

…this is about the point we both reach full-on blackout mode.

Things that may or may not have happened…

-We may have enjoyed another beverage at the aforementioned watering hole, the jury is still out on that one?!
-Apparently I peed behind/in front of/near a gas station?!
-We rode the T back to Central Square. I can only hope that we did so in silence, because I don’t even want to begin trying to imagine what we would have been talking about—at high decibels I’m sure.
-We decided that we clearly needed more to drink.
-We got kicked out of “The Field” because I was too wobbly at the door?!
-We wandered across the street to the “Green Street Grill.” It was packed and we left.
-We made the trek—via the backstreets—toward the “People’s Republik.”
-I decided I needed to eat/pass out/die and headed home.
-I stopped at McDonald’s and purchased $8.38 worth of fast-food. (This one has been confirmed by my online bank statement)

…this is when my body went into default “get home and pass out” mode.

Things that, unfortunately, also happened…

-At two in the AM I woke up on my couch, in my jacket and boots.
-I woke up to my cell-phone ringing. I answered it and it was some dude speaking Spanish at a very fast-rate; far too fast for two in the morning when you’re passed out on your couch. I assumed it was Ryan, because I vaguely recall us drunkenly speaking mangled Spanish earlier in the evening. As such, I screamed obscenities into the phone until the dude talking went silent. “Ryan?!” I asked. There was a long pause and then “…no?!” I hung up. (I Googled the number this morning, turns out it was some Mexican Telemarketing Company.)
-I looked around to see the TV was on and blaring. I had passed out watching the Home Shopping Network?!
-I fumbled around trying to remove my contacts. In the process I lost the left one and nearly plucked out my entire eyeball removing the right one.
-I went to my room to pass out in a bed and was upset with the temperature. As such, I dug around in my closet for a space heater and turned that bad-boy on and passed out.

Things that I’m glad happened…

-I checked my phone this morning and realized that I’d been passed out in my apartment by like 10:30pm. I also realized that I hadn’t drunkenly texted or called anyone, always less embarrassing that way.
-I checked online and found I hadn’t drunkenly Facebooked anyone or blogged, also less embarrassing that way.
-I was leaving for work and noticed a gigantic, sloppily done snow angel in front of my apartment. I giggled and went to work.

The moral of the story: If you’re going out drinking with Ryan Gray and neither of you has eaten anything substantial—always bring a babysitter and/or a camera to help piece the evening back together the next morning.